101010+2

God is truly amazing... mnJ got their pressie from a big koko today... kitty cat will get her share too. 2 mths no need to buy cat food jor. hehe.. tat's the happy part.
took the challenge to try a new job environment and called former HR to apply for an opening. so it's back to wait for the call.
the not so happy part... well, it's the relationship part which as usual the talking turns to arguing and turns to sadness  followed by disappointments and finally the thought of letting go.

really know that he is a good and wonderful person. just that we can't find a common ground now, that's the part which irritates myself and am feeling so yucky at myself. neway, guess i just need to live each day as it is and wait upon the Lord. May He show His way real soon... am getting scared here.

Thank you Lord Jesus for a wonderful day filled with ups and downs...

before the final quarter of 2012

last quarter 2012

it's passed the last quarter of 2012. there seems to be problems surfacing in my relationship. the happy times are getting less n arguments more. people say that if at the end of the 2 yrs time line and it seems there's no progress in a relationship it normally ends. it's strange where all these theory comes from. guess the "big" news came when he mentioned that he has a calling to go full time & that he's taking baby steps to achieve that. it kinda pull a plug inside me and sounded an alarm bell. i dun wanna go thru this all over again. we are at the pre-marriage counseling stage at lesson 3 when this happen... seriously dun wanna ruin his dreams but i really can't live to it. and it's kinda giving me pressure and stress which i dun thk i need it at this time.

these days our conversation is like goin round and round and round and round.... getting tired and restless that it's goin nowhere. am seriously lost. leaving it all up to God. please take control of the whole situation can? i know there's more issues and problems out there... just tat i felt so useless and frustrated.
will be writing here more to overcome watever i'm goin thru.... that's how i survived with dad gone. whishing he's here still.... i've failed him agian.... sorry daddy..